This was just too funny not to pass along.

For those of you that know the area I’m driving south on Alpine Ave this afternoon and go to make a right on red at 4mile. Not familiar with the intersection all that much I spent a good 5 seconds double-checking that there’s no traffic coming my way, after a few vehicles pass, that would prevent a right on red. For those of you not familiar with the area two 5 lane roads are intersecting here. I’ve got two lanes coming from the left and a chance that somebody across from me has a green arrow pointing left.

The split second I let off the gas the driver behind me, in an Escort that has its hood tied down with bungie cords, honks. I resist the urge to slam back on the brakes and make him wait.

We pull onto the next road and he stomps on the gas and moves into the passing lane as I gently ease up to speed. I hear him grinding the gears as he reaches for 3rd when going by me and notice evidence of another fender bender on the rear of his car.

Up ahead our two lanes converge into one. A slower driver than Sparky is in the left, so Sparky moves to the right, guns it, and it met with a driver that is making a right hand turn into a grocery store. He manages to get into the left lane narrowly cutting off another driver earning himself a one finger salute right out the window from that guy.

About a mile down the road we’re down to 1 lane in each direction with somebody making a left hand turn in our lane and Sparky is stuck waiting like everybody else. For all his impatience he’s about 16 feet further ahead of where he’d be if he just took his damned time.

When traffic gets moving again he pops the clutch, stalls his car, and rolls off onto the right shoulder.

Kid, you’re doing it wrong.

I got word this afternoon that my aunt Deb passed away in her sleep last night. I’m not certain how old she was but it was between 48 and 50 years and we have no idea what the cause of death is right now. She just went to sleep and didn’t wake up.

She and her husband had been on vacation for the last two weeks, camping in the UP for most of it, and on the night she died they were in Manistee for one last night before heading home. I last saw her up in the UP and got the chance to sit around the campfire with her and her husband for a couple of nights drinking beers, swapping stories, and just generally catching up as we tend to only see each other during the holidays and such. I very much enjoyed the few times in my life when I got the chance to do that.

I don’t know why this memory sticks out in my head, but it does, so I’ll share it. When I was about 9 years old she and her husband moved to Alaska. It must have been around December because I remember the family getting a postcard from them at Christmas that year. Among the things that I don’t remember was written:

While crossing the Rockies we pulled over and Dave took a pee in a stream. Don’t drink any Coors for a while!

Twenty years later it still makes me chuckle, and I’ve thought of that nearly every time I’ve seen a Coors beer. It’s safe to say I probably will for the rest of my life too.

There’s one more that just jumped out at me. I used to have a reoccurring scary dream when I was between 5 and 8 years old. In it I’d be lost in the woods with something chasing me and I’d be wearing a red sweatshirt she had gotten me. The dream was always in black and white and the trees were only as thick as twigs and the monster after me could crash right through them. Eventually a giant version of Aunt Deb would come up from behind me, grab me, and give me a big hug and then I was safe.

You will be missed, Aunt Deb.