Archive for the ‘Humor’ category
Heh.
May 12th, 2011Overheard in the office
May 21st, 2010Co-worker: That’s it. I can’t take any more surprises for today!
Me: I’m pregnant.
Co-worker: That I can handle. That’s funny.
This might change what I carry
May 9th, 2010One of the things I did for my wife on Mother’s Day was cement in a mount for an umbrella style clothes line that we bought a couple of weeks ago.
Yeah, not the best Mother’s Day gift but it was sunny out and rain isn’t forecasted so I wanted to get it done. Previous weekends were too rainy to do it.
Now, I’ve worked with concrete before but never in such small batches. I remember early on in my childhood concrete being mixed in a wheel barrow with a shovel to turn it over. Well, I didn’t have a wheel barrow today.
So I dumped the 60lb bag into a 5 gallon bucket, tossed in half a gallon of water, and used an old skinny long paint roller (sans roller of course) to start mixing it. That worked until I got about halfway down where the water hadn’t penetrated.
So, I just stuck my hand in there and started digging around. Slopped some of it out of the bucket by hand, mixed more with my hand, added water, and got through it. Wife came out around the end of the project and said I should have just chucked the paint roller into a drill to mix it. Wish she had been there 10 minutes ago because that’s a dandy idea.
And then I went to wash up.
At this point I should mention that the water was REALLY cold and my hand went numb while in the bucket.
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| From Drop Box |
Yeah, I tore a bit of skin off doing that. Ouch. Now my fingers are all bandaged up.
Deep Thoughts
April 4th, 2010I think it’d be nice if we saw more people of Hispanic descent entering into professional hockey. It’s not so much that I’m concerned with a sport having equal representation among the races or anything like that. It’s just that I figure that the more Hispanics playing hockey the more likely it is that some day I’ll hear an over excited sports announcer on the TV shout, “JESUS SAVES!”
Happy Easter, folks.
Call of Duty: World at War
August 24th, 2009So, I picked up a copy of this game for the XBOX 360 yesterday. I’d heard a bit about it and most of my friends play it, so I figured I should give it a go.
I played a little bit of the campaign mode so far, but that’s not what I want to tell you about. It’s the menu option that was calling out to me when I first popped the game in:
NAZI ZOMBIES
I love it. You’re basically trapped in a building with a few boarded up windows at the base level and wave after wave of zombies come after you. Unlike a proper zombie these can be defeated with multiple body shots, which is nice, because getting a head shot on a moving zombie with a bobbling head is harder than I’d previously imagined.
You start off with a 1911 and as you collect points for killing Nazi Zombies you can upgrade your weaponry by “purchasing” them from random chalk drawings on the wall. After each “wave” you have a little time to fix up the barricades on the windows but it doesn’t really clue you in to how much time you have so you’re constantly looking over your shoulder hoping nothing is there.
And when they are there it creeps me right the fuck out. Even creepier was sometime around wave 4 or 5 of the game when I had about 6 coming at me, armed with a 12 gauge coach gun, and I lobbed a grenade at them. The concussion shocked and disoriented me. When I came to I could see that they had all been hit and felt safe. Then I realized the grenade only took out their legs and the torsos were still crawling toward me with more coming in the windows.
“I’m fucked.” was the first thing I thought. This was immediately replaced with, “I need that fucking BAR RIGHT NOW!”
I popped a few Nazi Zombie creepy-crawlies with the shotgun, got the BAR, and laid waste to many more zombies but was eaten in the end after wave 6.
Yeah, I think I’ll be playing that game a lot in the next few days.
I’d like to meet that man.
July 23rd, 2009
Overheard in the Kitchen
July 22nd, 2008So, we’re filling out some form for the DJ that’ll be at the wedding. There’s a section on the back where they ask for some trivia about the bride and groom. One of them is ‘favorite Movie’
Theresa: Okay, favorite movie?
Me: Uh.. don’t really see why that’s important.
Theresa: Oh, ‘cmon. Pick one.
Me: Okay, 300.
T: You can’t pick that. You’ve only seen it twice.
Me: So?
T: You can’t pick that!
Me: I’m about 2 seconds away from standing up, yelling THIS! IS! SPARTA! and kicking you in the chest.
T: *rolls eyes*
Gas Powered Blender
July 20th, 2008This weekend I saw something pretty neat. A fellow I know, who’s quite inventive, had some folks over for a party, and he whipped out his gas powered blender.
Yes, he built it himself. I think he used a weed-whacker for the motor, and you can see he’s got some handlebars on it too with the throttle control.
Pretty neat, and I have no idea why there’s no sound on that video. I shot it with my cellphone.
Oh, he builds custom knives too.
Israel’s Screwed
July 11th, 2008
Problem Solves Itself
June 18th, 2008Crook dies attempting a home robbery.
Looks like a 19 year old critter decided that appendix carry, sans holster, was the way to go. Upon breaking down the door to a house he goes to pull his gun and shoots himself in the gut, drops gun, runs off, and the police find him at 5:30am in a driveway.
Dead.
